Brasil, oh Brasil

This: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/magazine/5042418.stm, sent to me by my boyfriend, has made me think a lot. Therefore I am posting it here.

Things have been nothing short of tumultuous lately. It's almost getting old. I think I am getting senile due to having a rather strange sleep pattern, although I thankfully haven't woken up in the night for the past 2-3 days. I really need to drink all the water I'm going to drink by 8pm from now on... Satkirat and I have had some 'issues,' not so much with each other as with ourselves. Call it a huge great Venn diagram of insecurity; we can both be exceedingly hyper/over-sensitive at times, and this is effectively the perfect time for blow-ups. TOM has paid me a visit (all of you should know what that means by now!) so the Deranged Psycho Bitch tendency is... somewhat more accessible than it would be normally.

I have been working a fair bit - three days a week, four last week, and I haven't been paid for probably about 9 or 10 days. That means I'm owed at least £357. That's no small amount, and I have been spending stupidly recently. Stupidly is the keyword here. I bought something like 11 tops from Uniqlo for £77 (pretty much). Hello, fucking idiocy! The worst thing is that I didn't think at all when I was doing it. There was no rebellion, no need, and no realisation that "hey, I bought about five or so tops already...!" I just bought them because my brain had become fried from being out all the time, and all day, and probably because I had nothing better to do. Boredom really is a killer. When I got to the till and they calculated the sub-total, I was like "Shit!" Then I figured it was too late to back out, so I went ahead and bought them all. I am going to go and return about 6 or 7 of them tomorrow. They're brand new after all.

Before this, I had spent £28.50 on 19 pairs of knickers from Primark, which I most deffo could not return. You'd think I'd have learned my lesson. I am totally gutted now, but I am going to make a scene in Uniqlo if they refuse to accept back their BRAND NEW TOPS. My bf was right; I just went from spending hardly anything to spending too much, and it fills me with fear. I was more than a little horrified at how my self-control evaporated in the presence of boredom.

It caused unpleasant situations, and showed me that I need to fill my time with other things. Things like reading The Watchmen, watching Chungking Express, and listening to Gilles Peterson's sessions in Brazil online (I heard some of the last show on the radio...). I quite like Brazilian music, although I've mostly just heard baile funk and bossa nova. Bossa nova might be 'middle-class music' but it makes you so happy! Anyone who doesn't believe me should just listen to Aguas de Marco by João Gilberto (it may feature Stan Getz, I think it does). He sounds so merry, like a giant bunch of fresh cherries :-D. Bebel Gilberto (yes, she's a relation, she's his daughter!) generally makes you feel that the world is beautiful and calm.

Speaking of happy music, I cannot help it - I like Lily Allen. She does look ever so slightly (endearingly, say I!) porcine on her Myspace page: http://www.myspace.com/lilymusic
Still, she makes music that is a bit snarky and makes you smile. She's Keith Allen's daughter (the man behind dumbass football-based hit Vindaloo), but don't hold that against her. She is summer! She also looks a teeny weeny bit like one of the winners of Strictly Dance Fever. That show is starting to depress me, because it showcases the worst thing about the mentality of the British viewing public. We love the underdog, oh yeah, we fucking LOVE the underdog. In all fairness, the gap between the two final couples was narrower than it's ever been, but logically considering what the prize is, I feel that history repeated itself one time too many.

Every goddamn series, the couple who are better suited to win don't win. This has happened on Strictly Come Dancing as well (although that's nowhere near as fun, especially because it's basically a vehicle for slebs to fawn all over each other). The couple who were consistently good, Darren and Lana, weren't quite as good on the night of the final, and lost. Never mind that they actually tried to take a risk. Darrien and Hollie - who ARE excellent dancers - performed their perfect-scoring milonga again, and then played shamelessly to their strengths (Hollie's a street-dancer...) during the freestyle. They won. They deserved to win, but the other couple actually deserved the prize itself more.

You see how bizarre it is? It's just yet another dialectical situation; does the ability to perform better on the most stressful night of the competition make you better suited to be a professional dancer? Or does being a consistently versatile and excellent performer count? Perhaps Darren and Lana are actually thus better off doing the professional-dancer-competition-celebrity route then, because they can take that many strings to their bow? Who knows? One thing I do know is that I prefer this kind of moral dilemma to several others. Even if it does involve swimming-costume-leotards, kneepads and dangerous dresses...

Too Much Contradiction

I started laughing the other day when I was listening to the new Christina Milian song, 'Say I.' Before being vilified for doing so, I would like to point out that:
a) I was ironing, and had been for a while, resulting in Frazzled Brain Syndrome. This is where your music taste heads to some tropical island for bask-sunning, and you enter the zone of 'School Disco' and 'guilty pleasures.'
b) The other options were: weird 80's-sounding pop, music that sounded like it was being played underwater, weird 80's-sounding music that sounded like it was being played underwater, and Duncan James singing clichés in a froggy voice that rendered them even more painfully obvious. I had the dubious pleasure of watching him repeat this on Strictly Dance Fever, and granted myself my first toilet break.

Anyway, there is a really great bit where she yelps:

(and I quote:)
you want to dance then get down
you tryna chill then sit down
do what you wanna to do
don't let nobody tell you what you're suppose to do

Thank you,
http://www.lyrics4all.net/c/christina-milian/so-amazin/say-i.php

I just love that hypocrisy! Blimey, when it comes out of nowhere, in a POP SONG of all the things, you know you've got to be on your guard. It is almost sublimely ridiculous that she failed to notice those two sets of directly contradictory lyrics placed right next to one another. Still, the girl can't help it, just like she can't help having a cute face which is somehow at the same time sexy to men. Although that might have more to do with her clothes' frequent habit of disappearing. Bad, bad denim-leotard-swimsuit thingy! (= video of When You Look At Me, where her cleavage made its full debut).

Moving on from 'the black Britney' (Whoever dubbed her that was surprisingly accurate...), let's hear it for Indonesia! In response to your puzzled looks, I stake http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/asia-pacific/5001786.stm

Banning public kissing? BANNING PUBLIC KISSING?! I almost laughed when I read that. It's a dangerous thing, that public kissing. You know, it could... it could.... give people ideas! Because civilised people in civilised countries don't do it! I hope you can spot the sarcasm in my tone. No, I'm sure that in places such as India, Africa and Indonesia, people don't like kissing in public. They just get pregnant three, four, five, six times... or more... and thus is born a strong and functional family unit, where girls are always manual labourers and guys just take whatever they can get. Calling those women 'homemakers' would be a little too glamorous for me.

I am so fucking DISGUSTED I can't even think. There was that, and then there was - is - this. It is a transcript of a conversation with my 'friend' Colin (friend being used in the loosest sense of the term). I'm sure you can guess who I am:

Shine on benevolent son - nigga killa says:
haha, my friend challenged me to remix an arctic monkeys track
it's really funny

DOCTOR WHO FANATIC, w00t w00t says:
Why?

Shine on benevolent son - nigga killa says:
well I hate them...so I'm making it really cheesy and happy

DOCTOR WHO FANATIC, w00t w00t says:
Why do you hate them again?

Shine on benevolent son - nigga killa says:
cos they're a walking cliche, and I really dislike the guy's voice

DOCTOR WHO FANATIC, w00t w00t says:
Why are they a walking cliche?

Shine on benevolent son - nigga killa says:
well it's like if you gave a bunch of chavs with semi-musical ability some instruments, and they went off on one singing about how they don't like their shitty town. which seems to be the fad for the theme in all indie songs these days. I guess it's best to appeal to the lowest common denominator if you want to hit the big time

DOCTOR WHO FANATIC, w00t w00t says:
Have you listened to them?

Shine on benevolent son - nigga killa says:
fo sho
I have to all the time
and all the chavs get up and sing loudly and cause trouble
I suppose that's meant to pass as irony

DOCTOR WHO FANATIC, w00t w00t says:
Hmmm.
What's meant to pass asirony?
as irony*

Shine on benevolent son - nigga killa says:
chavs singing along to songs that are cashing in on the disgustingness of chav culture

DOCTOR WHO FANATIC, w00t w00t says:
Hmmm.
I don't really have anything to say.

Shine on benevolent son - nigga killa says:
well why would you
they're just a dumb band
I wouldn't even be bothered if they didn't play them everywhere I go out with mates

Jesus H. fucking Christ! (Sorry, Christians). I wouldn't have minded if he had just said he liked them, but you SEE that arrogance? It's quite stunning, really. I'm being very diplomatic here, going to Annoying Child mode and asking "Why?" to everything. He labels Arctic Monkeys 'chavs' presumably because they're working-class (although they're not exactly typical working-class, are they?) and probably just because people he considers chavs like them. I just looked through their album tracklist, and there is nothing about, I quote, 'their shitty town' or anything 'cashing in on the disgustingness of chav culture.' As is the case with such people, I think he's lashing out because:
a) they've got a success he can only dream of for now, and
b) he's got more in common with them than he wants to admit.

Colin is obviously pretty snobby, but he's not exactly loaded or anything, and his family are barely middle-class, so it's pretty rich of him to insult working-class people, just because he's intimidated by those in his area. Of course, his area might as well be the world for him, right? Myopic is the word. That's the most terrifying thing: there's a mix of Pathetic Old Bastard Fart-Head and stupid, spoilt useless little brat in Colin. He can be good company, very occasionally. Granted, this is usually when I can't get to anyone else to talk to them first. Hilariously enough, there seems to be a vague current of snobbery, or maybe just disdain running through the Arctic Monkeys' album too. Like father, like son, kid - like father, like son! *evil laughter*

Anyway, I have been at work all day, and thus I am lacking appropriate brainpower to prolong your misery with this post. Fly, my pretties, fly!!!

P.S.: I DID, as a point of principle, look up Rudolph Nureyev, and for your viewing pleasure have enclosed the following. http://www.christies.com/promos/nov05/7141/images/7141_lot45.jpg
Ooer, I say, ooh! RE: Boys who WORKIT: YES, YES, THRICE YES *nods like loon*.

Boys who WORKIT

Rudolph Valentino is sex. He really is. Most of youse probably won't be able to see what the fuss is about in any of the images online. I have to admit that that's completely understandable. I don't know what it is that is so goddamn attractive about him. His androgyny is definitely appealing to me; I find him a lot more interesting than many of the fey indie-boy types who are touted today. I remember seeing him onscreen at some point - and I just thought: "Who is THAT?!" very excitedly. That's extraordinarily weird for me, because I have never been one to get overwhelmed by anyone's looks. The longest crush I had on a sleb was four days (Leonardo DiCaprio), and it was only because my best friend liked him. I know, I know... but I haven't been that sad since. Rudy's the violently passionate androgyne (I know - not a real word. It should be, though.) as opposed to the slightly girly boy. They have their appeal and all, but they're just not as sexy.

Well, me being me, I got him mixed up with Rudolph Nureyev in my head (bear in mind, I don't actually know what Nureyev looks like, so it's a reasonably easy mistake to make!). Although he apparently embarked on a dance tour, so I'm not going to get the following connection from nowhere.

Men who dance. Why is it so very hah-hah-HOT?! (Those are representative of gasps, if you were wondering). Or rather, men who dance well. I find it ridiculously sexy, and I was thinking about it, and I am not the only one! Take Anton Du Beke for example - star of Strictly Come Dancing, v. famous professional ballroom dancer and dance coach on Strictly Dance Fever. He really seems to have a way with the ladies, despite looking ever-so-slightly Transylvanian (read: vampirical :-D). He has a fairly long-ish head and a VERY pointy chin. And yet! He seems to have some kind of indescribable charm that makes all his partners and many of his female students go all girly. Check this: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/arts/main.jhtml?xml=/arts/2004/12/21/ftdance21.xml He is charming, and he does have a good sense of humour, as evidenced by the footage of him training one of my fave couples, Darrien and Hollie, on Dance Fever last week. He was trying to make Darrien more manly and Holly more ladylike.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/strictlydancefever/dancefever/news/2006/05/13/32186.shtml Boy, did it ever work. Darrien - I mean, not even Darren, for God's sake - is practically camper than the cast of Queer Eye... They showed him celebrating his birthday on the show, and he was all "I love Kylie!" However, the boy does dance well, and Anton did a number on his and Hollie's American Smooth routine. He also did a number on the cute and pixielike Hollie, who got all giggly and giddy whenever she danced with him - the shot of him going "Holl-ie! Go, girlfriend!" was priceless. My sister has commented (accurately) on how many of the blokes on the show have weird, fleshy faces and girly voices, and Darrien is no exception to this.

But hot damn! He and Hollie danced amazingly, and I (perversely enough) found their routine simmering. I could see a hell of a lot of passion in it, which was odd because American Smooth is generally supposed to be smooth, beautiful, lovely etc. It's a romantic dance. I have re-watched it several times, and I love it - the music, the costumes - it all works fabulously. The more I watch it, the sexier Darrien becomes. Perhaps because dance is so difficult. It is like acting, except that you're dancing and acting at the same time. You need to be the conduit for the music while mastering it. You need to let fly the full range of appropriate emotions while keeping yourself under tight control. You have to make the audience feel intensely, but only what you want them to feel, and you need to mind yourself. The man must lead, and so real grace and skill is needed. It is, then, much like finding male actors attractive, except that captivating male actors seem to be in short supply currently (well, for me anyway) and they don't, can't, have the same anonymity (read: mystery) that male dancers do.

So, returning to my first-ever post, dance expresses a range of paradoxes. When it is done well, I find it as unifying as World Cup football. The best thing is that it doesn't pit any group against any other group - apart from the obvious fact that couples are dancing against each other. Though at the time of performing, the competition aspect has very little influence. Another interesting thing is how people can within themselves recognise quite clearly what constitutes good dancing and a good performance without the kind of argument that would precede similar reactions to music (for example). Just watch the clip of Darren and Lana's Flamenco. Dear Lord, that was f****** FANBLOODYTASTIC. I started shrieking and applauding, I couldn't help it. I've also watched it maybe six times since... it's just a really fantastic, passionate performance. It makes you dance and want to dance, which is all you can ask for, really.

Anyway, I am sorry for being dead for so long, but I had exams and really bad insomnia to contend with. Plus my love-life was getting ridiculously unbalanced. It's all good now though! So I'll be back (as Arnie says. Anyone who hasn't seen the bit with him as Hamlet in Enemy of The State really should. Just that little bit. Hilarious). Dr. Who is kingly, and you can download it to your PC off the BBC website - do it people! Do it, do it, do it! TOOOOORCHWOOOOOOOD!