Boys who WORKIT

Rudolph Valentino is sex. He really is. Most of youse probably won't be able to see what the fuss is about in any of the images online. I have to admit that that's completely understandable. I don't know what it is that is so goddamn attractive about him. His androgyny is definitely appealing to me; I find him a lot more interesting than many of the fey indie-boy types who are touted today. I remember seeing him onscreen at some point - and I just thought: "Who is THAT?!" very excitedly. That's extraordinarily weird for me, because I have never been one to get overwhelmed by anyone's looks. The longest crush I had on a sleb was four days (Leonardo DiCaprio), and it was only because my best friend liked him. I know, I know... but I haven't been that sad since. Rudy's the violently passionate androgyne (I know - not a real word. It should be, though.) as opposed to the slightly girly boy. They have their appeal and all, but they're just not as sexy.

Well, me being me, I got him mixed up with Rudolph Nureyev in my head (bear in mind, I don't actually know what Nureyev looks like, so it's a reasonably easy mistake to make!). Although he apparently embarked on a dance tour, so I'm not going to get the following connection from nowhere.

Men who dance. Why is it so very hah-hah-HOT?! (Those are representative of gasps, if you were wondering). Or rather, men who dance well. I find it ridiculously sexy, and I was thinking about it, and I am not the only one! Take Anton Du Beke for example - star of Strictly Come Dancing, v. famous professional ballroom dancer and dance coach on Strictly Dance Fever. He really seems to have a way with the ladies, despite looking ever-so-slightly Transylvanian (read: vampirical :-D). He has a fairly long-ish head and a VERY pointy chin. And yet! He seems to have some kind of indescribable charm that makes all his partners and many of his female students go all girly. Check this: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/arts/main.jhtml?xml=/arts/2004/12/21/ftdance21.xml He is charming, and he does have a good sense of humour, as evidenced by the footage of him training one of my fave couples, Darrien and Hollie, on Dance Fever last week. He was trying to make Darrien more manly and Holly more ladylike.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/strictlydancefever/dancefever/news/2006/05/13/32186.shtml Boy, did it ever work. Darrien - I mean, not even Darren, for God's sake - is practically camper than the cast of Queer Eye... They showed him celebrating his birthday on the show, and he was all "I love Kylie!" However, the boy does dance well, and Anton did a number on his and Hollie's American Smooth routine. He also did a number on the cute and pixielike Hollie, who got all giggly and giddy whenever she danced with him - the shot of him going "Holl-ie! Go, girlfriend!" was priceless. My sister has commented (accurately) on how many of the blokes on the show have weird, fleshy faces and girly voices, and Darrien is no exception to this.

But hot damn! He and Hollie danced amazingly, and I (perversely enough) found their routine simmering. I could see a hell of a lot of passion in it, which was odd because American Smooth is generally supposed to be smooth, beautiful, lovely etc. It's a romantic dance. I have re-watched it several times, and I love it - the music, the costumes - it all works fabulously. The more I watch it, the sexier Darrien becomes. Perhaps because dance is so difficult. It is like acting, except that you're dancing and acting at the same time. You need to be the conduit for the music while mastering it. You need to let fly the full range of appropriate emotions while keeping yourself under tight control. You have to make the audience feel intensely, but only what you want them to feel, and you need to mind yourself. The man must lead, and so real grace and skill is needed. It is, then, much like finding male actors attractive, except that captivating male actors seem to be in short supply currently (well, for me anyway) and they don't, can't, have the same anonymity (read: mystery) that male dancers do.

So, returning to my first-ever post, dance expresses a range of paradoxes. When it is done well, I find it as unifying as World Cup football. The best thing is that it doesn't pit any group against any other group - apart from the obvious fact that couples are dancing against each other. Though at the time of performing, the competition aspect has very little influence. Another interesting thing is how people can within themselves recognise quite clearly what constitutes good dancing and a good performance without the kind of argument that would precede similar reactions to music (for example). Just watch the clip of Darren and Lana's Flamenco. Dear Lord, that was f****** FANBLOODYTASTIC. I started shrieking and applauding, I couldn't help it. I've also watched it maybe six times since... it's just a really fantastic, passionate performance. It makes you dance and want to dance, which is all you can ask for, really.

Anyway, I am sorry for being dead for so long, but I had exams and really bad insomnia to contend with. Plus my love-life was getting ridiculously unbalanced. It's all good now though! So I'll be back (as Arnie says. Anyone who hasn't seen the bit with him as Hamlet in Enemy of The State really should. Just that little bit. Hilarious). Dr. Who is kingly, and you can download it to your PC off the BBC website - do it people! Do it, do it, do it! TOOOOORCHWOOOOOOOD!