The abundance of capital letters in the title is in homage to the Bard himself. Some of you may think, wtf mate? Why does she rant on about the dead writer-man?
The Guardian understands how I feel! - well, obviously not The Guardian as such, but its writer(s), because I remember seeing an article in the Guide about how they really need to just leave poor old William be: http://film.guardian.co.uk/features/featurepages/0,,1746686,00.html
w00t w00t, yup, I found it. Apart from the fact that Amanda Bynes does make a very weird-looking boy (I thought she looked more like some strange pig-hedgehog hybrid, myself...), I wish that they would also stop showing white kids trying to act as if they're black in films. We all know people do it; we don't need to be reminded in some of the most painfully embarrassing examples ever. Imitation might be the most sincere form of flattery, but really, why do you need to flatter if your admiration is honest? And, furthermore, why would you insult yourself and black people, by making a huge fool of yourself? All it does is make people pity you.
I have to say as well that I'm sorry, but I really don't think that Americans should do Shakespeare. Granted, some of them do it well (Marlon Brando), but I highly doubt Shakespeare imagined people with American accents reading his scripts aloud. European and non-European, yes (hello, Othello, The Tempest...) but American? Perhaps if it was just acted better, and interpreted more imaginatively, and NOT filmed in a teen-movie context, it might work. Some people liked O, and 10 Things I Hate About You worked as a teen movie, if not as a reworking of Shakespeare. Plus, there's the biggie which has yet to be matched: Baz Luhrmann's Romeo and Juliet. I personally wasn't blown away when I watched it, but I think my sister deliberately forwarded half of it (sex! Naughty!) and I was unable to hear, understand, and now, remember most of it. Then again, I hadn't read Romeo and Juliet then, so I guess I wasn't going to understand anything too soon.
We've just found out about the first bird flu outbreak in Britain. I must admit, I find it all rather amusing. I don't know what it is that seeing dead birds sprawled about like shower curtains does to me. I think maybe it's the ridiculousness of it all, that something so pathetic-looking can pose such an immense risk to humanity. God, that sounds arrogant. Part of me wants to shout: "You eejat!" but I'm not sure whether it would be at the hapless dead creature, or ITV News. I mean, they're acting as if it's a surprise. Puh-lease, 'the experts' were going on about how it was almost definitely going to hit Britain at some point, and you believe them on other things! It was highly amusing to see them announce that this evening that some kind of room had been set up, where "I will take your questions," the bloke announced, with his hands folded behind his back. There was something almost comedic in the near-eagerness of his eyes in comparison to the dramatically intense bloke before him, who was grey-haired, long-faced and made me think for some reason, that he might be Welsh. I think he may even have been wearing a fleece. God, it doesn't get any more rustic and authentic than that!
Returning to the Outbreak Room man (I'm quite sure that that was what he called it...), I just wanted to laugh when he said that. What questions are going to be asked? Who's going to ask them? Farmers who think they might be at risk? Wouldn't they be more likely busying themselves with mass culls and sealing-off of land? Bored housewives from Basildon? "You're more fly than flu..."
"Excuse me? Do you have a question for the big, important, anchor-man?"
"Yes. Just how big are you?"
*** DIALLING TONE***
I think I've had enough Eminem moments for tonight. Before I go, I have a question: can I dance gleefully using dustbin lids (oh pweese, oh pweese, Mister Puddy-Tat, I've always wanted to since I saw Stomp!) because I'm a vegetarian? That was pretty much what I did during E.coli / foot-and-mouth / BSE.
However, you say, it'll make not much difference if the disease finds a way to get into humans, because it'll pass from human to human.
Oi, I'm not so stupid that I didn't know that.
Still, I guess that proves moany ol' Morrissey right because meat WILL be murder: if the disease gets into humans, how else will it be transmitted except by the consumption of an infected bird? Maybe we all need to try going really green for a while. And oi in front, I don't mean with nausea!
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